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Care to read a poem that I wrote from when I was 15 years old? *dug it out of a time capsule*?

Care to read a poem that I wrote from when I was 15 years old? *dug it out of a time capsule*? Topic: How to write a day of the dead poem
June 19, 2019 / By Damiana
Question: There was something in the water something very small and dead "It's the Minister's little daughter" the Investigator said And when the Minister came to find his daughter bleeding in the lake He let out a wail, his face did pale A funeral his screams did make Who did this to her! the Minster said Letting out a long agonizing cry "We do not know, but we are working on the case" replied the Investigator Letting out an empathetic sigh And when her body was being covered her feet was the last thing that he saw he stormed into his empty home And banged his clenched fist on the wall Suddenly, the very next morning there came a mysterious call: "This is Investigator Riley, we think we may have found a lead" At the sheriffs department: "This is a photo of the culprit he goes by Benjamin Reed" The Minister took the picture sketch and asked, "Please, May I have this?" And he drove away in his beat up truck consumed by sorrow's bliss He asked so many people so many people indeed The Minister would not stop asking until he found this Benjamin Reed he searched deep in the taverns where the alcohol was passed around Until he stumbled upon a strip club where Benjamin Reed was found: Hey you! There! Stop! he said and then the chase began! The Minister chased him up the alleys Oh, how Benjamin Reed ran and ran! He grabbed Benjamin Reed by his collar and flung the pale faced man to the ground Benjamin Reed began to sob profusely but the Minister shouted:"Shutup, slime! stop making that meaningless sound!" He pulled Benjamin Reed to his feet and putting the gun to his head with words pure and very concrete: He said, "Death will be your only pleasure" He shot him dead, he shot him dead but thirst for vengeance was not the way for the last thing anybody saw was his feet for he was killed the very next day --------------------------------------... I decided to dig up an old poem from my past. I wrote this when I was 15 years old. had to write it for ap english class at the time. man, the memories.... when I would just write and have fun but yeah I hope you enjoy:) Happy Writing to All!
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Best Answers: Care to read a poem that I wrote from when I was 15 years old? *dug it out of a time capsule*?

Blythe Blythe | 9 days ago
Hey thats REALLY good!!!!!!!!!! I hope you got an A+ on this.. I thought It really told a good story! :) I really enjoyed this! :)
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Blythe Originally Answered: Time Capsule + Letter to Myself to be opened in 4 years?
write about whats going on in your life right now, how you feel about going into highschool, whats going on in the world, who your friends are at the time, what your hoping will happen in 4 years. you could include some magazines, pictures, and maybe something you really love. make it special for yourself!
Blythe Originally Answered: Time Capsule + Letter to Myself to be opened in 4 years?
My heart goes out to you. I understand how you feel. I had gone through 2 open adoptions in my lifetime. Even though they were "open" meaning I gave free will to the adoptive parents to keep me posted on milestones or at least pix once in a while, I didn't receive them either. I commend you for making that choice since it's not the easiest to make. It can be a better choice compared to others and it's your selfless love for your child to do that. It's not your fault for the choice you made and there should be no regret. But your feelings are your own and you have a right to feel deeply about it. I would not do so much calling to the family or they may consider it harassment. They have moved on with their lives as you have. There's no way to undo what's been done and once you've signed the papers giving up your parental rights then that's it. It is a tough decision to make. It takes trusting that you placed your child in capable hands to raise them. You have every right to go through a grieving process as with anyone who's ever experienced a loss. Just start from today learning how to trust things are alright even though you haven't heard from them. For your peace of mind go through the attorney or agency that did your adoption and let them know what's been going on and what the agreement was in case they should be the ones who contact the adoptive parents for you. It took me years till I finally dealt with my grief and wept so hard. I went through stages of guilt, denial, sadness then finally ended up with acceptance for my decision knowing I did the right thing. I had to be content with my decision. Within a year after I met my feelings head on I got a call from the attorney that did my open adoptions and the first family I blessed with a little girl contacted me. I was reunited with her when she was 12 and now she's 18. I had to learn to trust that whatever the timing is for that event then I had to be happy with it. I still haven't been reunited with my other girl but I still hold out hope for that day to come. Even though I've never had any contact since then. She's 14 now. Just trust more and get answers you need to help you get through this. You'll be stronger and more ready for that time when you do get to meet again. Best of luck!!
Blythe Originally Answered: Time Capsule + Letter to Myself to be opened in 4 years?
I had my kids fill out a survey and write letters to themselves when they were 13. I asked all sorts of questions (I let them seal the envelope without me looking) some as simple as favorite color, band, food, I asked who they had a crush on, what they thought would happen in the future, things like that. They had a lot of fun filling them out and I will give them to them when they turn 25. I hope you have fun with this!
Blythe Originally Answered: Time Capsule + Letter to Myself to be opened in 4 years?
items on north korea news items, copies of year books, articles on the environment,pictures of pets people at school have, situation on iraq thoughts people had, coupons for pizzas, a copy of who killed the electric car dvd, photos of african rhino and explanation of how this is as close as the world gets to a unicorn, poetry written short stories, comments on how polite society and people are at your school, things your parents or grandparents told you which effect later times, what you think the 7 wonders of the world are and if people can be called 7 wonders of the world what you think of the way old people are treated

Blythe Originally Answered: B&A: Re-post- Would you care to read this short story I wrote?
The biggest issue that's popping up is repetition. A lot of it. For example, "When I dreamed, I always dreamed", "floating up in the clouds. Of the sugary clouds", "would watch the stars, she would tell me stories about the stars", etc. Once you use a word once, try not to use it again for as many sentences as possible, or at all. Golden rule. Secondly, and this is just a small bone I'm picking, the sentence "But, after waking up, a sinking feeling would break inside me". What do you mean a feeling "broke" inside of her? It's giving me mental images of her appendix tearing or something. Maybe say that a sinking feeling "set in". Lastly, towards the end, the wording gets quite melodramatic. "I never felt this deep hole in my heart, like a letter without words, or like a book without a first chapter." "Her memories would turn into teardrops watering the stars on my pillow..." It's just too much. It actually cuts off the tranquil, melancholy feel and makes me want to laugh, which is not the response you want. On the positive side, I like the dreamy tone. It makes for some beautiful imagery and just relaxes you, whilst still holding your interest. It feels like you're reading the beginning of a fairy tale, or the end. Hope you got the feedback you needed!
Blythe Originally Answered: B&A: Re-post- Would you care to read this short story I wrote?
I think Lovett pretty much covered most of what I was going to say. I really enjoyed reading this and I can understand if your writing style leans more towards specific description but you could have toned things down a bit. Sometimes less is more sabes?:) You don't really need to describe your mother's "charcoal eyes." My guess was that you were overly descriptive here as a result of how fond you are of your mother but unless charcoal is something that envokes such emotion within you then you do best to omit it. "Like honey dripping" I can understand that description...the words were honey to your ears...sweet and eloquent.<3 Like I said, great description but if you turned this into a more simple write than this could be even better:) Keep Writing<3

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