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Ex-GF is moving, how do i treat her?

Ex-GF is moving, how do i treat her? Topic: Transfer case seal housing
June 19, 2019 / By Courtney
Question: I asked a question a week or two ago about my ex of 3 years. We both moved to another state together after dating for 2 years and living together for 1 of those. The lease is now up on March 1st and in the last month she has distanced herself from me. Starting hanging out with her friends, not coming home, etc. She was dropped off one day by a co-workers brother who lives with her and she insisted it was just because she was drunk and couldnt drive and her friend couldnt get up to give her a ride, so he did. About a week later she had a girls night out and I was out of town and I left her 100 bucks to get her hair done and a nice card. She never thanked me for it, took it..and then didn't come home that night either. Every since then she hasn't slept in bed with me. I found pictures on her camera of him kissing her - I was devastated. The next couple nights I stayed in spare bedroom and when she did come home she would come lay next to me and hug me for a minute or two and then go sleep in our bedroom. A couple days ago she told me she may move out January 1st and she started to pack. We got in an argument...I was so frustrated, I love her to death. :( Im so sad it has come to this. She now only comes home to shower and change while im at work. Ive seen her maybe twice in last 2 weeks and its been while she was getting ready to go or packing up the small things. The last 2 days we have seen each other for a total of a hour maybe and there has been small talk. I asked if she could please leave me a few things in the house because I gave up everything when I moved here with her. The problem I have is she 100% broke my heart. This all happened within a month - I had no idea this was all coming. I moved 500 miles for her and her job and I dont know anyone here at all. She was my entire life. It makes me physically sick to think of her and someone else. I miss her so much and wait for her to come home every night but she doesn't and if she does its because she works a 6am but she sleeps in spare room. When she finally does move what do I say to her? She knows how much I love her and miss her. She will pay the rent, im not worried about that. I just dont know how things are going to be after she is gone. I am going to be all alone here - literally nothing but my job, my 2 cats and a bare apartment. Should I try and give her a hug good bye and a kiss? Should i not even be here when she moves out(im not worried about her taking my stuff)? I know her new bf will probably be helping her move, i cant deal with that. What should I expect after 3 years from her when shes gone? Should I still keep in touch with her? I miss her so much, just so hurt..I dont know what to do :( I should say I am feeling better than I was 2 weeks ago - I went and saw therapist and got depression and anxiety medicine to help me for now. I still hold out hope and I still mope around and have no motivation for anything. I think I hold out hope because I know the guy shes with is not her type at all. Hes 5 years younger(we are 28) and is probably going to do whatever he can to keep her because she is a gorgeous girl. Shes loving the excitement of someone new, I know. I have tried to ask for a transfer back home but not looking good right now because of economy(I am manager at a big box electronics store). I fear if I stay here I will always be waiting for that phone call...
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Best Answers: Ex-GF is moving, how do i treat her?

Betony Betony | 4 days ago
That sucks, it really does, your whole story brought back memories of when my ex dumped me and how horrible, empty, and hurt I felt. I think what's best for you at this point, is to not do anything with her. Hold your head up high. If she wants to leave, let her. Don't grovel, don't beg for her, don't hug or kiss her. She's with a new guy. Let her experience that and most likely feel like garbage for doing that to you, breaking your heart, etc. Maybe she felt she was being suffocated and needed something new. Perhaps she will come back to you after she gets this out of her system. If that's the case I'd probabaly advise you not to take her back, relationships aren't games. You work things out, etc. Since you moved only for her, I'd say it's time for you to move back home. Take your 2 kitties, aww, i love cats, and go back home. Maybe you need to secure a job first, get a job, find a place and move back. As long as you remain in that place that you shared with the ex gf, the longer the memories are going to haunt you of things you did there, you may "see" her, everywhere you turn. Not to mention the fact the place is going to look real weird with no stuff in it! I wouldn't be around when she came for her stuff either. Go out for the day let her do what she needs to do and come back at night, so you don't have to see the new guy and her together. Don't keep in touch with her either. She most likely will keep your number around, but you should delete hers. Get rid of her as a friend on social network sites, off your buddy lists, out of your cell phone, tuck any notes, photos, cards, momento's in a box and seal it and put it somewhere where you won't find it or stumble onto it, basically just do a "spring cleaning" and get it all out of there. Then you can start from day 1 and make plans to get a new job, new place, new location, and you'll meet new people, hang out with your old friends, and you'll feel better in no time. Good luck. :)
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Betony Originally Answered: The rich are richer - the middle class is moving up, the poor are moving up, and we're importing more poor
87% of US citizens lost wealth in the last 7 years, adjusted for inflation. About 10% kept status quo and 3% own 80% of the country and tripled their wealth in the last 7 years. If you belong to the 3%, hail to you, the rest is not getting anywhere. By the way, asian immigrants are among the wealthiest people in the nation.

Agnes Agnes
wow i'm so sorry. i know your hurt and you miss her but she has done somethings to you that are in my eyes unforgivable. as difficult as it may be move on obviously she has. she has been wanting to leave for awhile now. people just don't up and leave like that. i wouldn't keep in touch with her it would be to hard on you. i'm so sorry your going through all this. any thoughts of moving back? if so go for it. it would be a new start for you. don't be sad all alone at home it's unhealthy to be so depressed. go out it doesn't have to be at a bar crying while chugging down beers. go to a movie. go to the gym. something....anything. do you have a coworker you trust? if so pack up some stuff you don't need right now and see if you can store it temporarily at their place {or hide it in the attic} so she won't take everything you have. I would be there when she moves out. Just to make sure she doesn't mess with your stuff. {i know you say your not worried about it} i wouldn't say bye to her or hug her when she closes the door lock it. go take a shower have a good cry let it all out. broken hearts suck! you will get over it. it just takes time. best of luck hun!!!
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Timmy Timmy
try to move on. the sooner you get over her, the better you will feel. if i were you i wouldn't even be there when she leaves. if you feel like you need to say good bye, you can just leave a note in the apartment that she can find when she moves out. i wouldn't say anything too personal though. i would just wish her luck with her new move. after she moves, i wouldn't keep in touch with her either. the more contact you have with her, the longer it will take to get over her. spend time with your cats, try to make friends with people at work, and do things that make you happy. i am so sorry that you are going through this, but just know that stuff like this happens to a lot of people. you just have to be strong and know that one day you won't hurt anymore over her.
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Rama Rama
I'm so sorry you're going through this. She definitely handled all this the wrong way. It sounds like she's lost interest because she has someone new to focus on. There's nothing you can do about it now, except live day to day and hope she one day regrets her behavior (which will probably happen when the honeymoon stage ends between her and the new guy). Find a girl who appreciates you and doesn't leave you in the dust.
👍 34 | 👎 -14

Marquis Marquis
You took a gamble in life and love and rolled snake-eyes...it happens to most of us at least once at some point in our lives to various degrees. Make friends in the area, build yourself your own life, and move on, move back "home" to your old one, or heck move somewhere else if you want. If she's covering the rent/lease you're out nothing. Life sucks sometimes, but you need to push though it and come out stronger on the other side.
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Marquis Originally Answered: Moving out: Dog Moving Troubles?
Totally depends on the specifics. Is the child good around dogs? Will there be someone there with your dog much of the time at the new place? Will the others be bringing in new pets? It sounds like your mom really does have your dog's best interest at heart. I know your family is torn over it. I vote you get to try it out and see. Just assure her that you will take the utmost care with your dog. After the age of 7, change is hard on dogs. But the change of being without you and without exercise could be just as bad as the changes you are looking forward to. Just promise everyone concerned that you won't be selfish about it, and that it is totally for your dog's benefit however it ends up. If she stays put, then your mother needs to commit to a daily walk. That would be healthy for them both. Grandmother, too.

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