Should I be angry?
Topic: Police report writing articles
July 24, 2019 / By Karrie Question:
My friend died in late September but I didn't find out until mid october. Her death was all over the local media. Last week, I finally got the guts to read the articles and yesterday I finally got the guts to visit her grave with her husband. Her husband told me that due to the rain he lost control of the wheel due to the rain and the car spun out of control past the yellow line. a few seconds later a car hit them at a high speed which caused the casualties. he told me that the car had a 2 to 3 second window of opportunity to stop. These past few months I feel like I've been looking for someone to blame for her death. Now I find myself pointing the finger at the guy who hit them and being very angry at him. At the same time I feel weird being mad at him. Should I be angry at this guy?
To top it off the car the guy was driving was illegal and the guy had a suspended license and no insurance
I think the anger issue is stemming from the fact that I can't make up for her death.
If she had died from cancer or some other disease I could start a charity to raise money for research but I can't do anything about a car accident.
The 2 to 3 seconds thing was actually written in the police report about the accident. The police later told her husband.
Best Answers: Should I be angry?
Haven | 8 days ago
As long as he wasn't drunk or high or anything, no you shouldn't be angry at him.
2-3 seconds? He's not superman.
👍 264 | 👎 8
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We found more questions related to the topic: Police report writing articles
Originally Answered: I am so angry right now?
As the parent of a 17 year old daughter my first question is how well do your parents know the people you would be going with? It is hard for parents to come to grips with the idea of their daughter (or son) going so far away with someone they don't know well or are not sure about.
You have a well thought out question and if you were to approach your parent(s) in a mature way at a less stress time and present your case , as it were, much as you did on here, explaining how you would cover your school work etc., you may at least get them to listen to you.
Ask your prospective to host(s) to meet your parents in a pleasant, low key way. No pressure, just a friendly meeting.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas..
It would appear that you have a form of what is known as "survivor's guilt". Even though you were not involved at all in the crash, you feel angry over the fact that you've lost your friend...while you go on with your life.
You'll never know what exactly happened - your friend's husband could only give you **his** perspective of events; keep in mind, time has a way of speeding up or slowing down in these crisis situations, and what he considers to be 2-3 seconds could have in reality been only a second...or less.
If you continue to harbor such anger, I would suggest speaking with a licensed counselor. Often, a professional can help with making sense of the feelings you're going through, and can help you find a way to deal with them as well.
👍 110 | 👎 5
It is a normal part of grieving to get mad along with all the other feelings, And often times we look to blame someone to help us from feeling the loss and sadness, but think about it, do you think this person wanted to kill someone, I doubt it, they probably feel horrible and wish they had not gotten into the car that night at all. If the car was not in his lane he would not have hit it, if it was not raining he might have been able to stop. It is sad when we lose folks we love and it is OK to just feel sad and have it be what it is......
👍 103 | 👎 2
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sadly, it's human nature to look for someone or something to blame, but there is no one to blame. Two to three seconds probably wasn't even long enough for the man driving the other car to realise what was about to happen, it was too short a period of time, and even if he had braked it wouldn't have made a difference. You have to try and move on, pointing the finger at someone won't help things.
👍 96 | 👎 -1
Im so sorry about your friend. :( Unfortunately this stuff does happen. But it is better to forgive and live with your friends memory as you knew her. I think since her husbands car sped out of control and plus the other car created the accident. I think that there is no sides to blame in this case. Anger doesn't create anything at all. It is better to move on with your life. Hope she rests in peace.
👍 89 | 👎 -4
He must know that it was his fault that your friend is dead. Can you imagine what that must feel like? If he has a heart, im sure it was kind of a tragic thing for him too.
Im sure your friend wouldnt want you to be angry, your friend is watching over you now, and im sure she wants to see you happy and enjoying your life to the fullest.
I would want someone to blame and would be angry too, not really at the person, just at the world in general, and that something so tragic had to happen so suddenly.
Im sorry about your friend...her spirit is with you
Things will look up soon, I will pray for you....
👍 82 | 👎 -7
Death often causes anger, but there's no one to blame here. Its natural for you to feel that way but it will pass. Try to feel forgiveness and compassion for EVERYONE involved, because it was a horrible experience for everyone I'm sure.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
👍 75 | 👎 -10
Originally Answered: Would you be angry about this?
Hi there Rebekah. And sorry to hear about the situation you are in. It sounds very familiar to what my husband goes Thur with his brother minus the age difference. I deal with this too on a smaller scale with my sister. There are 13 years between she and I. We both get gifts from mom, but she always gets the better. I normally don't say anything. I guess its not my nature unless its hurting someone else I love.
In your case I think I would have to say something. I don't think its about the gifts or money with you. I have answered back and forth with you so much I think I know what you are trying to say. It's the idea. And it hurts. He is thinking about his 'new' family and not about you or your loved ones. He is hurting you and your loved ones. IF he could not afford it, thats one thing. But to give to others and not you/your loved ones is rude. Tell him you are hurt by this. Explain to him that its not the gifts you care about, but the idea that your family doesn't seem as important as his new family and this shows by his words and actions. If nothing comes of your talk with him and he doesn't seem to still care take a 'dad break'... Don't call for a while... don't go around for a bit. Maybe he will think then about the fact that he did hurt you?
I don't know... Just a suggestion. I take 'dad breaks' occasionally. It always works out. Good luck to you!!
P.S. One day late (wink ;) Think lots of baby dust for me... I will think good thoughts for you and your family, as always.