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How to deal with bittersweet emotions and online love?

How to deal with bittersweet emotions and online love? Topic: The problems of teenagers essay
July 24, 2019 / By Lesley
Question: I met my best friend online, 4 years ago. I was 13, he was 15, so yes, I'm only 17 now. He's 19. It wasn't an online dating website or any sort of social networking thing, it was a new age forum, oddly enough. I met a lot of people there, but he's the only one I've stuck talking to. Being that our relationship is entirely based online, I can be totally open with him and him with me. He is probably the only person I really trust. Oh, and spare me the lectures about online friends being lying scumbags. He's not a 60 year old scumbag looking for young prey. Like I said, he is my best friend, and I believe I am his. He has said as such. I also have grown to have strong feelings for him, I love him unconditionally and he loves me too, though we understand that we must meet for anything between us to be any more than impossible. The problem is, he lives in America and I live in New Zealand. We talk over webcam as much as possible, of course. The other night, we stayed up talking for hours, and ended up so tired that we just stared at the screens, into each others eyes as best we could. I just yearn for the little things, like knowing what he smells like, feeling his breath against me, touching his skin and knowing what the texture of it feels like. And it hurts so badly knowing it's impossible for any of that to happen for at least another year, when he may be able to have the funds to visit me. And when it comes to me visiting him, well, this is my first year of University and I'll be a dirt poor student for at least 3 years, with a massive loan when I come out of it. So I know nothing will happen. Believe me, I've tried to date other people, and he's tried - I always encourage him in romantic endeavours, because I simply want nothing more than for him to be happy, even if I'm not a part of his happiness. But after I get past the 'infatuation' stage of a new relationship, I never think about the person I'm with, this friend of mine is always in the back of my mind if I'm watching a romance movie or reading a novel or anything. It's not fair to the person I'm with. But the thing is, despite how agonising it is to be without this friend of mine, I love how I feel about him, I love the way I feel whenever his name pops up as online, I love how happy I feel, just imagining the day we will finally meet. I would do anything to make him happy, anything at all, just to make him smile. I just wish I could be there when he does. It's the very definition of bittersweet, and I can't quite grasp it yet. I can't quite deal with being so happy and so sad at the same time, when I talk to him. I guess I just need some guidance. I've always held dear to me the philosophy that if we are meant to be together, somehow, some way we will be. But lately I've grown tired of waiting, and even closer to him. Anyone who tells me he's just an online creep or who goes on about any of the online relationship stuff (which is all very real but not applicable, here) will be ignored, so don't even bother, ok? Your advice won't do anyone any good. Thanks for reading, and hopefully responding to, this essay-like question :) He has a part time job and is saving, while I am working as much as I can just to afford the rent and food costs which my loan won't cover. And you know what, you're wrong. Even if it amounts to nothing, this person is the best friend I have, I adore him and connect with him on a deeper spiritual level. If we are just friends forever, even only online, while I'll be sad in a way, I will be all the happier for having the experience of him as a friend. And I've been with people, physically, but I couldn't connect with them in the same way as I can with this guy. the anonymity (I'm sure I've spelt that wrong... Gah, it's late) of the internet allows me to trust him, and get to know him on an emotional and spiritual level rather than a physical and social one, which is what other relationships are. So go dispell your ageist views to someone who cares, because you shan't change my mind. He has a part time job and is saving, while I am working as much as I can just to afford the rent and food costs which my loan won't cover. And you know what, you're wrong. Even if it amounts to nothing, this person is the best friend I have, I adore him and connect with him on a deeper spiritual level. If we are just friends forever, even only online, while I'll be sad in a way, I will be all the happier for having the experience of him as a friend. And I've been with people, physically, but I couldn't connect with them in the same way as I can with this guy. the anonymity (I'm sure I've spelt that wrong... Gah, it's late) of the internet allows me to trust him, and get to know him on an emotional and spiritual level rather than a physical and social one, which is what other relationships are. So go dispell your ageist views to someone who cares, because you shan't change my mind. Erm, I don't know why those details went through twice. Oops. Oh, and if you're going to criticise me, darling, don't use 'fecking' as an adjective. It shows a lack of descriptive ability which only makes me more likely to discount anything you say.
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Best Answers: How to deal with bittersweet emotions and online love?

Jamie Jamie | 2 days ago
This is one of the most pathetic things i have ever read. This really makes me sad. Why not go out and meet some real people that you can see and touch?? This is a perfect example why teenagers shouldn't be allowed to use the internet. Your a fecking statistic
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Jamie Originally Answered: HELP.How can I deal with my Saturn in 5th and the aspects?I'm so pessimistic about love,have low self-esteem?
The fifth house is all about love and romance, children and creativity, sports and games, gambling and speculation, in short… its the house of fun! You have four planets in your fifth house so this will get confusing for you. With Mars in the fifth house you will have a lot of energy and be able to pursue fifth house endeavors easily. Also, the themes of the fifth house are going to be incredibly important to you and you'll long for them deeply. You will want love, romance, children, creativity, sports, games, etc. Most likely not every item on that list, but clearly you strive for love. HOWEVER! Saturn is the planet of CAUTION! So, despite having Mars pushing you forward toward all these things Saturn is reminding you to slow down and proceed carefully. Take heed! It's actually GREAT that you have Saturn here in the fifth house considering you have Neptune in the fifth house too. Read about that -- Neptune in the Fifth House: Neptune is where we can do ourselves in, where we wear rose-colored glasses to hide the drabness of mere reality. People with this placement are always thinking that they have found their "soul mate". It’s usually a heel. There is also a tendency to fall in love with someone because of their faults instead of their virtues. "Oh you poor little thing. I know you’re and alcoholic, a drug addict, a con artist, tri-sexual, and crippled, but let me fall in love with you and make you all better". If that sounds like you, let me give you a magic number that will solve all of your problems in this area. Please memorize it. It’s 911. Dial that and have them taken away and treated by a professional. Neptune here can be very creative in the arts. There is an increased chance of adopting a child if you have this placement. A natural first child will be on the dreamy and imaginative side. So, consider yourself lucky to have something challenging you and reminding you to use caution regarding the things where Neptune is leading you astray. So, Mars is pulling you aggressively toward all these things, Neptune is saying that if you get them you'll probably be in for some trouble, Saturn is trying to get you to exercise caution and reserve and work your way into these themes slowly, and Venus is making you all the more attracted these themes and the people who seem related to these things… or just damn charming like maybe your Aquarius guy. ;) I think that you should put your Mars to work in the arts or something creative which should satisfy Venus who loves art and Saturn who insists on things being earned the hard way. Neptune will be happy with all the creativity too and help you out! You will feel the need to earn love and fun. Perhaps that is a small part of the reason you are willing to trade sex for affection. When you do that you quite literally earn fun and love the hard and costly way. The funny thing about Saturn in the fifth house is that you will work hard and stay disciplined to earn love, affection, respect, and admiration on the stage of life, but once you earn it the opinions of others will be meaningless to you. You asked what you should do to win against these aspects. My suggestion is to find an outlet that you regard highly and apply yourself to it. Show that you've learned the lesson of Saturn in the fifth house by being disciplined, cautious, and steadily climbing to your goal. Then value yourself for your accomplishments and who you are, because learning to love yourself and have FUN --even if it with yourself-- is a principal lesson of this aspect. It was unfortunate to have this aspect, but Saturn does have to be somewhere every time someone is born. Now you know what this aspect is all about so when you are questioning your worth just remember that you have these things happening in your chart and ignore those doubt-causing feelings. You're worthy of fun, love, affection, and admiration for beauty and what you accomplish… it will just be a long time until you learn the lessons in your life that will allow you to realize that. You can start now though by taking it on faith that these things are true despite the incredibly strong feelings inside you that tell you otherwise. Can you choose a belief that contradicts what you feel so strongly? Trust me. It is worthwhile. Choose to believe these very positive things.
Jamie Originally Answered: HELP.How can I deal with my Saturn in 5th and the aspects?I'm so pessimistic about love,have low self-esteem?
I'm too exhausted to think this through and give a thorough answer but realising the problem with the self-esteem and wanting to do something about it is a step in the right direction. People with Venus-Saturn aspect have strong issues about self-valuation, especially with respect to one's beauty. Women have issues with their 'femininity'. There is usually a history of a childhood where there was little affection generally... no affection from the father-figure. This person has trouble remembering getting physical affection from the father and people with hard aspect, sometimes the conjunction as well, feel awkward at giving and especially receiving love and affection from others. Hugs, kisses and physical displays are often craved and popularity may be pursued above all else. Usually the demonstration of affection becomes a 'big deal' for people with this combination. Either that or the issue of relationship is avoided altogether and the importance of it denied. For some reason it seems that those with Venus-Saturn contacts come into the world feeling unloved. Before they've realised that their issue is really self-valuation they may tend to believe, though not always consciously, that it is others that don't care, others that don't love them. Saturn will always delay the development of whatever planetary principle it touches and for Venus-Saturn types it takes time for the individual to learn about giving and receiving. These types almost expect rejection and are very sensitive and listen out for any clues which might herald the fact that the other person's love has waned. It takes the Venus-Saturn person a long time to realise that they are really safe in a relationship and really have won the other person's affection. Often the Venus-Saturn person is scared of love, doesn't believe it is really there for them and that if it is then there is always a possibility of it waning. For some the prospect of this can urge the individual to deny themselves relationships altogether. At worst the person builds a wall around themselves and wails because nobody loves them.... and nobody will, because they are not allowed to get close enough. At best the Venus-Saturn person will face their need for, and fear for, relationship. It is through working at relationships that you will discover that the whole thing is supposed, amongs other things, to be fun and that you have taken things and yourself too seriously. Venus-Saturn person can find it hard to enjoy themselves. Saturn always insists that we learn the hard way and those with this combination, given time, often learns about relationships at the very deepest levels. If it feels right - Attack your fear... You probably don't want to end up depressed and lonely, which you might if you run away from this.
Jamie Originally Answered: HELP.How can I deal with my Saturn in 5th and the aspects?I'm so pessimistic about love,have low self-esteem?
My dear fellow fish. I can't stand it when someone is unhappy. You ARE good enough. You just do not realize it. That guy was a doofus anyways. When I use to get upset about not having something, I think about what I DO have. What are the positive things about you? What are your talents? List them all!! Then think about it. I am sure you have a lot of good qualities! Don't worry about those sign charts, I am suppose to be a drug addict or something according to my chart! LOL! I think I read it wrong. Seriously, I wish you nothing but happiness :) take care

France France
why don't you try to meet each other half-way? like planning a short holiday together (just a couple of days, say nine days) in another country (between america and new zealand). ask him what he thinks about the idea, if he likes it, start planning it together and save some money (get a part time job or something)....no need to spend a lot of money on expensive hotels...just flight expenses and a cheap hotel/apartment somewhere. once you meet each other in person, you'd be able to gauge whether you're really into each other...if yes, you could see if both of you would like to try a long distance relationship until one of you finish the studies and move. You've been online friends for quite some time and you've seen each other on webcam so I guess that when you meet in person, the physical attraction and chemistry will be there. good luck.
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France Originally Answered: Online love. i want to go meet him.?
If it would be my decision, I'd pack up and go and only after that I'd send a letter with explanation. Since you're 20 they cannot keep you or stop you from leaving, and if you really believe that the guy is good for you, nothing should be able to stop you from meeting him. But beware, because sometimes you may think it's going to be better, but it may be worse. I don't say it to scare you (remember: the world belongs to the brave ones), but to make you aware of unknown that is over there and to prepare you mentally for problems. I cannot help you much, but from the depth of my heart I'm wishing you good luck and hope that you'll find what you want, because from what you've written, it seems that life right now is really hard for you.
France Originally Answered: Online love. i want to go meet him.?
Online dating can work out, but be careful. You could be meeting a 50 year old pervert for all you know. However if you meet him a neutral place by all means go.

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