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I am a very angry person, and I don't know how to stop it?

I am a very angry person, and I don't know how to stop it? Topic: Case study of a person
July 24, 2019 / By Randi
Question: I am just an angry person. Everything you can possibly do or say will piss me off and get me going. I constantly find myself wanting to punch people in the throat or face, and wanting to take their head and curb-stomp them. I don't think it's a very good way to live my life. Who wants to live being an angry person? All I want to know is how to stop myself from being so angry by myself. I don't want to go to a counselor or a doctor, I just want to find a way for me to calm down. I've tried just letting it go and laughing about it, but it doesn't always work, in fact, it doesn't work 95% of the time. I constantly find myself yelling things such as "People piss me off" and "Arruhhhhhhhgggggg". If I don't feel like screaming, I will turn around and punch the person that made me mad, and I know that if I continue doing this, it's going to hurt my friendships, and that is certainly something that I can't afford to do. Any suggestions? In case you're wondering, I'm 13 years of age, and I'm in 7th grade, thus why I can't afford to lose any friends. I'm atheist.
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Best Answers: I am a very angry person, and I don't know how to stop it?

Mercia Mercia | 9 days ago
If your response to "everything" is anger, the best solution is to completely change the way you look at things. Here is what some of our best thinkers have had to say about the way they see things. Albert Einstein: A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Arnold Schopenhauer: Compassion is the basis of morality. Arthur Rubinstein: Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back. Diane Berke: The major block to compassion is the judgment in our minds. Judgment is the mind's primary tool of separation. Edward Bulwer-Lytton: A good heart is better than all the heads in the world. Eugene V. Debs: Years ago I recognized my kinship with all living things, and I made up my mind that I was not one bit better than the meanest on the earth. I said then and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. Felix Adler: To care for anyone else enough to make their problems one's own, is ever the beginning of one's real ethical development. George Washington Carver: How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because some day in life you will have been all of these. H.H. the Dalai Lama: If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Jim Rohn: The more you care, the stronger you can be. Kahlil Gibran: Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. Keshavan Nair: With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. Leo Buscaglia : Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Mairead Maguire: We frail humans are at one time capable of the greatest good and, at the same time, capable of the greatest evil. Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change too. Pema Chodron: When you begin to touch your heart or let your heart be touched, you begin to discover that it's bottomless, that it doesn't have any resolution, that this heart is huge, vast, and limitless. You begin to discover how much warmth and gentleness is there, as well as how much space. Here are some affirmations you can use to change: http://bmindful.com/affirmations/compassion Pick out 2-3 favorites to work on for a week or two. Write them down, and read them to yourself several times a day. Close your eyes and imagine yourself being that way. When you're finished with those, go on to the next ones. Using affirmations and visualization can change your whole life and make you far happier. You can also study Buddhism. There is a lot about it on the web. They have a lot to say about compassion. Good luck. ##
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Mercia Originally Answered: What is the best way to pacify an angry person?
“Effectively Dealing With Anger !” Anger is an inaccurate assessment of reality. Why? Because, by definition, it is based on exaggeration or superimposition of negative qualities. However, when we are angry, we do not “feel” we are exaggerating or superimposing anything. We feel that we are right! In fact, the angry mind seems very clear: “I’m Right, and Your Wrong and you are the one needing to change !!” “Under the Influence of Anger, we select a few negative qualities and form a limited view that we are then reluctant to change. Psychologists speak of a refractory period that accompanies an emotion. During this time, we are closed to any advice or “reasonable” interpretation that contradicts our view. We can neither think clearly about a person or a situation nor accept the other interpretation of it that well-meaning people offer! When the emotion subsides and then we are able to look at the person or the event more clearly, we readily see that anger’s interpretation was inaccurate!! Anger is also inaccurate in its assessment of reality in that it does not perceive a situation in a balanced way, but views it through the distorted picture of “I”, “Me”, “My”, “Mine”. Although we think that the way a situation appears to us is how it really exists out there objectively, when we are angry, we are, in fact, viewing it through our Self-Centeredness. Due to this self-centered view, anything that happens in relation to me {ourselves) seems incredibly important. Ask yourself, are you really happy, when you are angry? The answer is undoubtedly, NO. We may feel a surge of physical energy due to physiological reasons, but emotionally, we feel miserable. Therefore, from our own experiences, we can see that anger does not promote happiness. In addition, we do not communicate well when we are angry. We speak loudly when we’re angry, as if the other person were hard of hearing or we often repeat what we say, as if the person had a bad memory, but this is not communication. Good communication is expressing ourselves in a calm, reasonable, controlled way in which the other person understands. If we raise our voices to another, they usually just simply tune us out. Under the influence of anger, we do not express ourselves as calmly, nor think clearly. Under anger’s sway, we also say and do things that we later regret. Years of trust built with great effort is quickly damaged by just a few moments of uncontrolled anger. In a bout of anger, we treat the people we love most in a way that we would never treat a stranger, saying horribly cruel things, or even possibly striking those whom we love. This harms not only our loved ones, but also ourselves, as we sit aghast as the family we cherish disintegrates. This, in turn, breeds guilt and self-hatred, which immobilizes us and further harms our relationships and ourselves. If we could just tame our anger, such painful consequences would be avoided. And maintaining anger within us fosters resentment, and bitterness. Through the development of Patience, comes Loving-kindness, Compassion and Wisdom. Transforming our attitudes, and our minds through Patience, Tolerance and Compassion we are able to remain internally undisturbed in the face of harm and externally act for the benefit of others. But when we choose to express our anger, our words and deeds hurt others. And expressing our anger does not rid ourselves of the anger. On the contrary, each time we express this hostility, even if it is by beating a pillow or screaming in an empty field, we strengthen the habit of feeling & acting out its unhealthy energy. What happens if one day there is no pillow around to beat, or if there is no empty field in which to scream in, and we are only surrounded by human beings? Also, suppressing anger will damage us mentally or physically, as well. Expressing anger is one extreme and suppressing anger is another extreme. In both cases, the habit of anger remains in one form or another. “Transforming our attitudes and our way of thinking through the cultivation of Patience, Compassion, and tolerance is the answer! ‘It is the ability to remain internally calm and undisturbed in the face of harm, or difficulties’.” Patience does not involve pasting a plastic smile on your face while hatred simmers inside. It involves dissolving the anger-energy inside so that it is no longer there. Then, with a clear mind, we can evaluate various alternatives (while remaining calm and undisturbed) and decide what to say or do to remedy a situation. Mental Calmness gives us the space to evaluate situations clearly and thus to make wise decisions. And this is the foremost advantage of Patience. Patience allow us to live free from guilt, pain, grudges, resentment, and the wish for revenge. Then we are able to communicate effectively with others, and our relationships are peaceful, and more harmonious. Instead of being ripped apart by anger, they are deepened by attentive listening, and kind considerate speech. Training in Patience: The meditation of observing our anger involves quietly paying close attention to the storyline behind anger. We note the blood rushing to our head, our heart pounding, the emotional pain of hurt feelings, disappointment, & unfulfilled expectations. Simply observing these, “but Not reacting to them by clinging to them or pushing them away, we experience them as they are in the present. In doing so, we watch them arise And Cease in their own accord.” Mindfulness is very effective in letting go of Negative emotions. “Techniques in which we re-frame the situation constitute most of this volume, and they fall in the category of Analytical meditation, in which we investigate our thoughts, feeling, and perceptions to discern if they are accurate and beneficial. Changing the way we describe and interpret situations subdue anger because we stop exaggerating and projecting negativities onto people, situations, and objects. In this way, the external event, its meaning, & our position in it appear to us differently, and our anger evaporates.” Meditation on love and compassion (which many do as form of walking meditation) strengthens these positive emotions in our minds, and hearts, which is very beneficial because these emotions act not only as antidotes to anger, but also as measures preventing it from arising. So for some, mindfully observing their Thoughts and emotions allows anger & hatred to subdue naturally, while for others, a more Analytical approach is necessary. Through investigation, we need to see clearly that anger is a distorted state of mind that misapprehends its object {either the person or the situation). For some, it is good to often reflect on the disadvantages of anger in order to make them determined to step back and not blindly indulge in anger. Remember, subduing anger, to cultivate Patience and tolerance properly is a slow and steady process. Don’t expect it to disappear overnight. Reacting in anger is a deeply ingrained habit, & like all habits, it takes time to unlearn. Developing Patience, which the major antidote to anger requires a great deal of determination, effort, and patience. Another way to overcome anger and self-centeredness is to regard our enemy as a friend, who benefits us. How can we see an enemy as a friend? First, by harming us an enemy gives us the opportunity to manifest Patience and tolerance. Think about this, who really gives us the best opportunity to demonstrate patience, compassion, and tolerance? Not our friends, because they are nice to us. It is our enemies. Through having an optimistic attitude, we can clearly see that it is our enemies which help us that infinitely beneficial, wholesome quality of Patience. It is those who harm and offend us that actually give us excellent opportunities to cultivate Patience. *This Patience is the ability to remain internally calm, and undisturbed in the face of harm or difficulties. Through the situations in life which we are faced with, patience and wisdom are cultivated and the anger-energy within us is dissolved, resulting in a stable peace of mind, and happiness.*

Lenore Lenore
Wow. You need therapy. Right away. R u saying she's a ***** or is that a convenient excuse for you to use because it's not what you thought it would be? Story. When I first got married I was 21. For three months things were okay. Then it really settled on my husband (22) that marriage was about responsibility and commitment.To get out of the marriage, rather than admit it was a mistake and too soon for him, he discredited me. He gave others the impression I was a horrible nag hag. He had people feeling sorry for him because poor him wound up with such a horrible creature like me. How I didn't want him to go anywhere.(bars until 5 or 6 am 3-4 nights a week). How I was money hungry. (his share of the our rent) How I wouldn't clean up the house. (get up at 3 am and pick up after 4 grown men and their card party every Wednesday) How I was boring, holding him back and such forth. How I wasn't sexy enough for him in bed. (Wouldn't sleep in the nude 7 days a week) how I couldn't cook.( He had been eating my food for a year before we got married). he started taking his laundry back to his mothers house she she could wash, iron and fold it. he made life miserable for me. It was the worst year and a half of my entire life. that was about 23 years ago. recently I saw him at his mothers funeral with his new wife and he's finally ready. At 46 years old. I never remarried and he asked me why and i told him that experience was enough for a life time. 3 weeks later he got my number from somebody and called to say he felt bad because he got the impression he was somehow responsible for my everlasting single status. And that at the time he was very angry because he felt trapped in a premature marriage. I guess he forgot I filed for divorce and never looked back.
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Jools Jools
Start keeping a journal. Very often we can then look back and see our self emerge from the pages. Free write, meaning, write whatever you want and don't necessarily feel you need to stay on one topic or write only once a day, etc. When you begin to know who you are and what you believe, you may find that you like who you are, which is often a work in progress, and won't feel like fighting against other people's opinion: If they know you for you, all good; if they have false opinions of you, it's their loss; if you care about what they think, you will find the words to express yourself. You sound like you may be a true survivor of life thus far and, knowing this is one of your strengths, you don't need to go on wanting to fight down others. You can enjoy their company! We are who we are, not who others think we are.
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Genna Genna
As you know by experience you can't just "decide to laugh and be carefree". There are unresolved issues within you that you are really ticked off about. Everything else is a symptom of something underlying. When you are ready and feel safe these issues can be dealt with and you can have some peace in your soul. Suggestions all include getting help: Anger management classes (perhaps talk to school councilors or just do a web search in your area) Life skills class Christian counseling Secular counseling Stress management - perhaps through your heath coverage You are wise to deal with this now! Hope this helps
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Delicia Delicia
This Site Might Help You. RE: I am a very angry person, and I don't know how to stop it? I am just an angry person. Everything you can possibly do or say will piss me off and get me going. I constantly find myself wanting to punch people in the throat or face, and wanting to take their head and curb-stomp them. I don't think it's a very good way to live my life. Who wants to...
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Bryanna Bryanna
What if everything you do to someone is done to you, or comes back to you... how would that make you feel? Oh, I am sure I know the answer to that question. You are kind of funny... the "Arruhhhhhhhgggggg". shows some personality. Treat others the way you want to be treated. you would be better off talking to a counselor, but since you do not want to, start reading some books about this issue. Anger management books... Play nice!
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Allannah Allannah
well, you should go attend a boxing club where you can then express and release all your anger towards another person who will fight you or towards a boxing bag. Either way is good where you could release all the tension inside you. Even pain after a punch out is relieving for some people what ive been told. Once you sweat out, you will feel better. then go have a shower and relax, then you should feel fresh in the morning.
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Urijah Urijah
Hey I am the same way... but what really helped me is being christian. I am not trying to be corny seriously! I think religion would help your life and make you be a hapire person in general! Just try it at least go to church once talk to a youth group leader, who knows you might be thanking me in heaven.
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Urijah Originally Answered: Am I becoming a socialpath? I'm having angry outbursts and becoming a horrible person?
I really doubt you are becoming a sociopath because sociopaths don't worry about being sociopaths. You obviously care about your brother and you are just having a rough time right now. I think there are a lot of other stresses (being sick, bullying, high standards, etc..) that have caused you to be more emotional and upset than normal. Have you communicated with your brother about how badly you want to stay at your current school? Maybe he would try harder if he knew how much it meant to you. That seems like one of the main reasons you are upset with him so addressing it may help your relationship. As for your dad he sounds like he's a bit controlling have you tried reasoning with him or communicating the reasons why the other school would be a worse environment for you? Maybe you could convince him that it would be harder to achieve your goals at the other school. As for the bully at school there is not much you can do other than let a teacher or faculty member know about it. If he has Asperger syndrome there may be little they can do about the situation other than removing him from class. I'm surprised if no one got in trouble for the profanity in class was there any supervision.

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