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Is this a reason to be angry or am I angry for a pity reason?

Is this a reason to be angry or am I angry for a pity reason? Topic: Different reasons for writing letters
July 24, 2019 / By Patti
Question: * I have a good friend who left in the beginning of this fall to Cali for school, but she is coming back any day now. She is there to prepare herself ~~academically for a military school~~ so her time there was limited. The only way to keep in touch was through snail mail and once in a while texting, *she has face book, but deleted, (conflicted with her studies),*** but she said she would return to it. I wrote her and she wrote me, but she never replied to a second letter, I figured she was just busy, and I know I'd talk to her when she came back via phone ; aim or face book (we live in different states).. **SHE said she would let me know when she's back. I got on right now & see she has activated her account, I'm upset because ***Shouldn't she be the one to let me know she's home or call me?..*I feel like I shouldn't have to fish for answers out of her to know when she came back & how the school year was etc, since *SHE is the one who left. Am I overreacting?.. **She said she would get back at me, but hasn't** I just hate she can't keep her word and it's not the 1st time!
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Best Answers: Is this a reason to be angry or am I angry for a pity reason?

Margot Margot | 8 days ago
People change depending on their experiences. I found out that my high school friends and I aren't compatible anymore after I went to college. We tried to stay in touch, but phone calls just became less and less, as we had less and less in common. I don't know if that's what your friend feels, but if you want to stay friends, I suggest you just swallow your pride and call her. It's no big deal if you do. If she wants to stay friends with you, she'll make time to talk and hang out. But if she doesn't, don't hound her. It may just be that she's at a different place in her life now and she's changed too much for you guys to be as close you once were.
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Margot Originally Answered: Do I have the right to be angry?
I believe that we are all different, you see in life friendship is not fixed or defined for all of us, but rather each two people or more have a special unique relationship. So there are some people some kind of friends that can't handle other's problems they just don't know what to do or how to react. I remember watching a documentary on TV, they were taking about the daily life of a man with brain Cancer. He said when he was talking about his friends, that he has many types of friends, some whom he can trust with his private problems and can help him and come spend hours with him in the hospital, some whom he can only call them to joke and have fun with them, some others whom he can just debate and have some respectful exchange of information... At the end he said that you only need one friend for each need. One friend that will help you with your problems, One friend whom you like to laugh and relief the stress and anxiety. One friend whom you go shopping or doing some specific activity. One friend whom you need to support you and get your back when you have problems. One specific friend or person for each need. Usually the Best friend, is an exception to this rule, where he or she can gather all those needs for you at once. Some other good friends can gather one or two needs even more...etc And the no-friend person or complete stranger does not help you nor interact with you at all they provide you with 0 need. So this friend of yours, is definitely not your Best friend, she is just a friend that can only provide you with one type of needs, you can't blame her, she is doing her best, obviously she is not great with helping others nor assisting them in their problems, but at the same time she specializes in other types of needs maybe being funny and spending some good time relief the stress and forget the problems could be her need for you and your interest for her. You see each one of us, has a specific field that he or she excels in, funny, wise, reliable, serious, knowledgeable, compassionate, understanding, helpful, lucky, bright... etc... Very few can clam to be excellent in all the fields, and none can clam to have no field of interest nor excellency at all. Every single human being at least excels at one field and can be helpful useful to others , and can become more if he or she chooses to. So have faith, don't blame others when you discover their limited abilities to provide you with some special needs. But rather have faith, that the friends you're looking for exist, you just need to be yourself, to be open with people as best as you can, talk with a lot of people be nice and respectful while talking with them and taking some time to notice them and notice their interests and the way they are; And among those people whom you take time to notice and get to know , you'll find some few friends that will provide you with some needs and specific help for each field. You have to try, there are millions of people whom you can reach and get to talk to, surely among them are your friends. Friendship does not have any limits nor boundaries of age, you can have adults as friends as well as children. Virtual friends or real ones. All can be your friends. Just be yourself, and be tolerant and respectful to others, surely the best of them will do the same with you or even more. So be happy and have a good time laughing and relaxing with your friend, maybe when you make her laugh you're helping her more than she might think. Maybe at the end she needs you more than you need her. So when ever you don't find the friends you're looking for, at least be the friend that people are looking for. Anyway , be yourself and trust your heart, be honest, and take care of yourself, you may not see it right now, but you are more precious to this world and to yourself than you might think. Have a nice life full of happiness, light and mercy :)
Margot Originally Answered: Do I have the right to be angry?
I understand completely why you had to maintain this particularly secret for now! I easily do! you have a real to be offended, for specific. You depended on those with very specific concepts, and that they blew that have faith completely out of the water. inspite of the fact that, i assume the determination you may make is - is this occasion nicely worth doubtlessly wrecking some relationships. in case you throw a greater healthful or something like that, probable somebody would be harm (alongside with you nonetheless) and which will probable bring about persevered harm thoughts. My advice is which you may consult with the people who you informed (and asked to no longer say something) and clarify to them how they have harm you. After that, you may choose what to do. the two enable it circulate or carry onto it, for sure the wear and tear is finished, and while it comes right down to it - you are the single you may rigidity approximately, nicely, you and your substantial different. good success with this crappy undertaking!
Margot Originally Answered: Do I have the right to be angry?
U can confront your sister and say that u don't feel well being in a cycle with her that has been occurring. u need help and she needs to help u out. i think she feels bad about u cutting and all but u can tell her that she can a little spit out her feeling and give advice for your depression. talk it out slowly. this idea might not be a bad one but u can try.

Kizzy Kizzy
I totally understand. Yes, she should have been the one to tell you she was home. How else would you know without looking at her account every day or two? I would just contact her and she if she talks to you now. If she doesn't then just let her be. But I would contact her first before I just dropped her because she might not have gotten the letter, been really busy since she got back, ect.
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Kizzy Originally Answered: Would you be angry about this?
Hi there Rebekah. And sorry to hear about the situation you are in. It sounds very familiar to what my husband goes Thur with his brother minus the age difference. I deal with this too on a smaller scale with my sister. There are 13 years between she and I. We both get gifts from mom, but she always gets the better. I normally don't say anything. I guess its not my nature unless its hurting someone else I love. In your case I think I would have to say something. I don't think its about the gifts or money with you. I have answered back and forth with you so much I think I know what you are trying to say. It's the idea. And it hurts. He is thinking about his 'new' family and not about you or your loved ones. He is hurting you and your loved ones. IF he could not afford it, thats one thing. But to give to others and not you/your loved ones is rude. Tell him you are hurt by this. Explain to him that its not the gifts you care about, but the idea that your family doesn't seem as important as his new family and this shows by his words and actions. If nothing comes of your talk with him and he doesn't seem to still care take a 'dad break'... Don't call for a while... don't go around for a bit. Maybe he will think then about the fact that he did hurt you? I don't know... Just a suggestion. I take 'dad breaks' occasionally. It always works out. Good luck to you!! P.S. One day late (wink ;) Think lots of baby dust for me... I will think good thoughts for you and your family, as always. Lyn
Kizzy Originally Answered: Would you be angry about this?
I guess I would be hurt too, but Christmas isn't about gift giving, it is about the celebration of the birth of Christ. SO with that thought, remember that it is about family, and show all the love and respect that you would normally do so on this day. Show that you are the better person. HOWEVER, I would not return the gift giving either. Just tell him that you thought that since he wasn't buying any gifts this year for you and your family that it meant that there was NO gift exchange-for him, his wife or his precious little Ward. Don't go out of your way for them in the gift department, however make sure you visit, call, have dinner, what ever you "normally" do(this will make him feel like a heel if nothing else!)--just with out the presents. Good Luck! Don't feel slighted, remember what a dear and loving family that you have with your husband and that you have many things to be thankful for. Like I said, don't change the routine, just change the money you are spending on that part of your family.

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